Goals 2019 -- December Edition

My December goal has been accomplished.  I ended up making four charitable donations.  I feel okay about this for two reasons:

1. Everyone can only do what they can do, and time is what I'm running lower on than anything.
2. Most places just want money anyway, and then they can do with it whatever they please.

It's probably more economical for the organization to amass multiple donations and put the job/project/task in the hands of one person who actually knows what they're doing than it is to have 20 people volunteering their time to complete a project but no one has a clue.

And look at that -- I'm wrapping up the year on a successful note!

Christmas Wrap-Up

I'm sure you were all wondering how I could possibly make it through a Christmas season without seeing Love Actually.  Rest assured, no such catastrophe occurred!  I watched that, as well as a PBS broadcast of Christmas with the Tabernacle Choir. 

S and I had a great time opening presents, cruising around on the golf cart, and ate delicious steaks -- preceded by delicious cocktails -- for dinner!

Happy Birthday to Me!

The Art of the Handwritten Note -- Take 2

I've been on several vacations lately, but The Art of the Handwritten Note never made the cut to take along with me.  It's a quick read (despite how long it took me to get through it), but not great for travel for two reasons: first, it's hardcover, and the added weight is always disfavored when packing.  Second, it's one I wanted to keep; abandoning it on a park bench or a coffee shop table upon completion was not an option.

I wanted to keep it because it has some practical assistance if you need to write a note but are struggling to find the words.  Sometimes it's helpful to have a few words to get you started.  So, back onto the bookshelf it goes for just those times, which are covered in the second half of the book.

The first half is focused more on the joy and importance of writing, as well as the choice of materials.  It was nice to read through, but if I could have just kept the second half, I would have; that's where the practical advice is.

What I'm Reading Now -- Rowing to Latitude: Journeys Along the Arctic's Edge

I don't know where I picked up my copy of Rowing to Latitude: Journeys Along the Arctic's Edge, but I am sure excited to read it. 

It's the non-fiction account of husband-and-wife avalanche researchers living in Alaska, who spend their summers rowing and kayaking along the coasts of Alaska, Canada, Scandinavia, and other chilly and often unfriendly climates.  We'll see what kind of trouble they get into!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Celebrations!

Everyone who knows me knows that I love Christmas.  In preparation for the holiday, S did a wonderful job decorating the house!

And that's not all the celebration we've been doing: we have been wearing our Santa hats regularly; I have made 4 batches of cookies so far -- two each of molasses crinkles and Santa snacks; I have rotated through all the Christmas music in my record collection; S discovered the Season of Good Dog playlist on Spotify (which is hilarious); cards have been mailed; and movies have been watched.

So far, I've seen Christmas with the Kranks (which was a new one on me, although I had read the John Grisham book it's based on, Skipping Christmas), Little Women (not the new one -- yet), and It's a Wonderful Life.

We also had an early Christmas dinner with a quarter of the extended family, because we knew we wouldn't be able to get together for the holiday itself, and of course S and Z had their annual photo with Santa taken at the mall!  (The wives spent the hour-long wait shopping at the bookstore; no one was surprised by what we each bought.)

More Christmas celebrations to come!

What I Watched -- Captain Marvel

During the same trip to the library that we found Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, we found Captain Marvel, which is about as far from the former as one can get and still be in the movie universe.

And on the subject of universes, this is -- perhaps not surprisingly, given the title -- one of the many aimed-at-adults remakes of an old superhero comic within the realm of the Marvel Comics universe.

The plot doesn't matter much.  Good guy (or gal, in this case) trying to save the world from a bad guy; the usual stuff.  But it was funny in the way that all these movies are funny, and I very much enjoyed Brie Larson's turn as the title character.  She was fun and spunky but not in an annoying way.

Bottom line: exactly what you're expecting.  Not terribly memorable, but neither is it disappointing.

What I Watched -- Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee

S and I found Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee at the library.  I think it's safe to say this without spoiling anything, but it is exactly as sad as you would expected it to be.  Actually, perhaps sadder.

The movie is based on a book of the same name by Dee Brown, and looks at the complexity and tragedy of Native American assimilation into the ever-greedier settlers who are moving west and finding themselves in need of land.  The film portrays different responses to the government's attempts to purchase (or just take) Indian land, and plays out some of those responses to their ultimate -- and sometimes tragic -- conclusions.

Bottom line: in case I haven't said it yet, this is heartrendingly sad, but a worthwhile watch nevertheless.

What I Watched -- Rosemary's Baby

Every time the subject of disturbing movies comes up, C asks me if I've seen Rosemary's Baby yet.  Finally, I can say yes!

And now that I have seen it, I certainly concur that it fits into the category of disturbing movies.  If it had been a little bit less supernatural and into the occult, I probably would have loved it.  As it was, parts of it I liked a lot, parts of it -- though necessary in order for the movie to hold together -- were a little too out there for my tastes.

In case there is anyone else out there who has not seen it, here's the basic rundown: a young couple moves into a long-empty apartment in a building in Manhattan.  There are some strange things about the unit, including the neighbors, but they're excited about the find.  Rosemary becomes pregnant, but she starts to suspect that there is a cult at work in the building which wants to take possession of her baby for their demonic rituals.

So yes, it's a bit strange, but now I am part of the cul-- er, club.

Bottom line: it's a weird one.

What I Read -- The Road

I'm not sure why I take books on vacation when I have other work to do.  The book will always be more enticing, and becomes a great excuse for not doing the work.  "Just a few more pages," says I, "and then I will go back to reading that deposition transcript instead."  Except do you know what doesn't ever get read?  That's right!  It's the deposition transcript.

We were heading down to Florida for Thanksgiving, so I decided to take the bleakest, coldest, most miserable book I could find.  You know, just in case the sunshine and ocean breezes got to be too much and I was missing a good, old fashioned, St. Louis winter.

And if bleak was what I was looking for, I sure found it.  Cormac McCarthy is known for being a bit of a downer, but I'm not sure I've ever read something quite so unrelentingly grim as this.  Which is not to say that it wasn't still compelling (and not just because my alternative was actual work).  The anticipation of something terrible happening at any moment was more than enough to keep the pages turning long after I should have gone to sleep.

Goals 2019 -- November Update

K reported to me that she did not meet her daily water intake goal, but she did do substantially better at drinking water than she had before the month of November began, so that's improvement!

Additionally, for my part, I did get that last salad (in a manner of speaking)!

Goals 2019 -- December Edition

For December, K and I will both celebrate the holidays with four charitable actions.  It might be a donation, it might be volunteering, it might be something else, but we will make the world a better place in a few little ways.

Goals 2019 -- November Recap

It turns out that as long as one is conscientious about eating salads, it's not too hard to do.  As long as I get one last salad in today, I will have crushed this month's goal, including having a couple of extra salads!

Earthshaking

Last night, we felt and heard what was apparently a meteorite hit the ground a few miles from our house.

So that's a thing.

Quote of the Day

"Luck is merely the temporary state of outrunning your impending disasters."
  -- Colson Whitehead

(This quote brought to you by the letter K.)

Goals 2019 -- November Edition -- Take 2

From K:

No sooner did I decide that I was a failure at food related goals, then the one that I am setting for myself in the month of November is to drink more water. I think I can be successful at this for several reasons a) because I’ve done it before, b) because I’m trying to follow doctor’s orders, so I have fear as a motivating factor and c) because I also want to try to go to yoga more, and I always drink more water that way because otherwise, my hot yoga class may kill me.

Another friend of mine at work is trying this as part of Rachel Hollis’ #last90days, but that would mean that I would have to drink half my body weight in ounces. That’s a lot of water! I would never succeed at that and my work schedule could not accommodate all of the time lost visiting the restroom as a consequence. M is right when she says that one’s goals need to be measurable, so I need to pick a more reasonable measure. For me, that’s going to be 48 ounces (or two full 24 oz. bottles) a day, which is a pathetically small amount of water for a regular human being, but for me, it will be about 36 ounces more than I drink on any given day right now. Perhaps you can see why the doctor had something to say about this.

Here’s to hydration!

Goals 2019 -- October Update

The fridge (and freezer) are clean!

And from K:

In the aftermath of Hurricane Dorian, I really wanted to use the month of October to try to return to clean eating. Writing this post is quite stressful as M has shared with me that T reads the blog only to find the ways in which we have failed at our monthly goals. And, this month, I think an objective viewer would say that I failed, but I believe that in that failure, I’ve also learned a few important things.

The failing started early on when work was really stressful and having a glass of wine at night sounded really good. But, I wasn’t supposed to drink. So, I adopted our grandma’s Lenten sacrifice and decided that I would only drink when I was with friends, which I was able to stick to. But, when I needed to skirt around my clean eating, I would just call my friend and neighbor, K, and we would have wine together.

Then, and I don’t know why I picked October for this goal, there was the advent of Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew at Starbucks. And, boy are those things good. So good, in fact, that if I were not trying to eat cleanly, I probably would have had one every day, but I think I made it through the month only having five. So, on this one, I was somewhere between a win and a loss.

And along came Halloween and our annual pumpkin carving party where we serve delicious varieties of chips and dips (a very personal weakness) and, of course, the requisite Halloween candy. On that night, and for several days after, I failed miserably. And then came Halloween when our neighbors had their annual chili and cinnamon roll Halloween pre-game. Well, I think you see where this is going…

So, what were my moments of victory this month? There were a few.

1.     I had very few cups of regular coffee (cold brews aside), and when I did, I used half and half instead of creamer, but by the end of the month, coffee didn’t even taste good to me anymore. So maybe I’ve finally broken that habit!

2.     Mom tried to derail me with Trader Joe’s pumpkin ice cream, and I gave in one night. But, I made myself a tiny ramekin and halfway through I had to throw in the towel because it was…too sweet? Something must have been wrong with me. Or, maybe I have managed to successfully alter my taste buds, which was the goal of the clean eating anyway.

3.     Even when I made a bad food choice, I made it after deciding that I was okay with making it. This feels like a victory to me because I don’t usually think too much about what I eat EVER. I don’t meal plan. I can’t think of what I want for lunch right after I’ve had breakfast. And, when I come home from work starving, I just follow my taste buds wherever they lead me without a second thought. I think the process of making conscious choices about my food, good or bad, marks something of a turning point.

Now that we’re in a new month and I’ve been working on trying to identify a meaningful goal for November, what I’ve learned about myself is that food-related goals are typically not a place where I will find great success. Baby steps, yes. Wholesale life change? Definitively, no. This may not get me anywhere, but I feel like it’s an important thing to have learned about myself. So, while I didn’t meet the goal that I first established for myself, I still got something out of it, and I’m going to call that a win.

Goals 2019 -- November Edition

Now that my pantry is clean and my fridge will soon be, I'm going to work on eating.  At C's suggestion, this month I (and S too, by extension) will eat at least 4 salads per week.  That seems like a lot of salads, but I think it's going to be good for me.

I suppose, since it's Friday as I make this goal, I will have to prorate for partial weeks.

Goals 2019 -- October Recap

My goals for October were one of those things goals should always be -- measurable.  So, how did I measure up?

1. Not eating past 8:30.  I can identify three days out of the month where I broke this rule.  One was when Dad was in town, and I'm pretty sure I was still nibbling on dessert after the 8:30 mark.  The other two were nights that I had to work late and hadn't planned ahead to either order some food in or brought something with me.  One of those nights my stomach was a little upset and I thought food would help (which it did); the other I was just really hungry.

2. Cleaning out the pantry.  Done!  I got rid of a lot of stuff that had passed its expiration date and stuff I decided I would never use even if it was still good.  I also reorganized a bit so things are easier to see and find.

3. Cleaning out the fridge. This one has not happened, but it is scheduled for Sunday, and I'm excited that it will be done, so I know it'll happen!

Movie Recap

I apologize for my lack of writing recently.  Things have been crazy at work!  I have been (over the course of quite a long time) accumulating a list of movies that I have watched but not written about.  So now that I have a hot minute to write some things, here's a rundown of what I've seen.  They're in alphabetical order; the ones I liked best get photos of the cover or poster, so you can review at a quick glance.

50/50 stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, whom I love.  It also stars Seth Rogen; I don't feel the same way about him, but he's tolerably not annoying in this based-on-a-true-story tale of a 20-something who receives a cancer diagnosis that he is, of course, not expecting.







Always Be My Maybe was a Netflix find that was cuter than I expected.  Let's not kid ourselves, it's still a dumb rom-com.  But it's about people in the food world, so I was predisposed to enjoy it.

André the Giant: Even Bigger Than You Imagined would have gotten top marks, except that half of the movie was Hulk Hogan.  It makes sense why, since he and André fought several times over the course of their careers, and Hulk has some very nice things to say about André, including the story that caps off the movie.  But everything about André himself was great, and worth watching.

Bad Day for the Cut is a family drama full of dark secrets.  And it's a revenge thriller that's wonderfully worth watching, if you're into movies where lots of people die and you only figure out why once you're already in deep.  And it's hard not to root for a middle-aged Irish farmer who goes all vigilante when his mother is killed.






Bad Times at the El Royale was a recommendation of my law partner.  He is normally into classic films, so I'm always intrigued when something new comes along that he likes.  I liked this one too.  It was confusing and interesting and weird.  And more than anything else, it was visually and artistically impressive -- not in that weird, artsy-fartsy way, but just interesting to look at.  It's noir-style, and set in 1969, so there are so many interesting things going on that are worth seeing.




Deliverance is one that I had seen the opening scene of several times (because who doesn't love killer banjo music - pun intended).  I had never gotten beyond that scene until a couple of months ago.  Now that I have, I  wish I hadn't. 

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead is a classic from my pre-teen years.  K and I used to watch it and recite all the lines; "I'm right on top of that, Rose!" still pops out every now and then when we're together.  It's not a "good" movie, in the traditional sense, but it's great to me!  Plus, those late-1980s fashions, bright colors and all, hold such wonderful memories.






Doubt is a great movie if self-flagellation is your thing.  That's about all I've got.

Duck Butter is hardly even worth writing about, except that I don't want anyone else to waste their time watching it.

First Man is one that S picked out.  Anything having to do with NASA, the space race, or interplanetary science is bound to pique both our interest.  What was a little disappointing about it was that it wasn't about the space race as much as we'd hoped.  What was surprising about it was that it seemed to portray a much more real, human side of the lives of the astronauts than is typically shown.  On balance, it was good but not great.

Half the Road focuses on the disparate treatment received by female cyclists in the world of professional riding.  It's not surprising, but still worth watching.

Handsome Devil was another cute Netflix find.  It tells the tale of some school-age boys who don't quite fit in, and how they find their way in the less-than-accommodating environment of a high-end boarding school where rugby is a way of life.

I, Daniel Blake is another of the British films I've watched lately.  It's the story of a late-middle-aged widower who is found unfit to work by his doctor after a serious heart attack.  He is denied a support allowance by the government.  The commentary on the struggling middle class is impossible to miss, but what I found more heartwarming was the friendship that develops between Daniel and the single mom he meets who is going through similar struggles.

I Am Mother was a difficult one for me.  I want to like everything that has Hilary Swank in it, because she seems like such an awesome person in real life.  But I just really didn't like it very much once it was over.  I wasn't mad at it while I was watching it, but I feel like it could have been so much better at the end, and it just wasn't.

The Lives of Others is one that I saw quite a long time ago.  I don't know how it escaped my blog for so long, but it did.  It's dark and sad and creepy.  It simultaneously makes me extremely glad I didn't live in Germany 30 years ago, and also heightens my concerns about living in this country, today.  And if that parallel doesn't concern you, you clearly haven't been reading the news in the tech world.

Moonlight was supposed to be great.  It was fine, but I don't really see what all the fuss was about.  I'm certain I'll be accused of being small minded.

Murder Mystery was a little bit funny.  Funnier than a lot of Adam Sandler movies, for what that's worth.

Stripes is a 1981 Bill Murray movie, in the classic tradition of Bill Murray comedy films.  It's stupid, but goofy and enjoyable and I'm glad we stumbled across it.

Suicide Squad was something we picked out when we were looking for an action movie in the Marvel or DC Comics vein.  I didn't realize it at the time, but Suicide Squad actually is a DC Comics film, so it fit the bill perfectly.  Don't expect a lot of plot or character development; just look for a lot of things to be blowing up.

The Upside is a remake of a French film called The Intouchables, which has been on my list for a while but I have been unable to find.  The plot is neither complicated nor surprising, but the characters are so well acted that I didn't even care.  I liked it anyway.







Whisky Galore! is another remake, this time of a 1949 film of the same name.  Set in 1943, a ship carrying whisky to the United States wrecks off the coast of a Scottish island, much to the delight of the islanders, who have been desperate for their favorite drink due to the wartime rations.  Comedy, but not hilarity, ensues.

The GBBS is Back!

In case anyone else loves it as much as I do, this is a PSA that there are more episodes of The Great British Baking Show on Netflix!

The Double Bind -- Take 2

I was fascinated by this book. I have never read The Great Gatsby (I know, you're shocked), so I spent as much time trying to figure out what had happened in that book as I did trying to figure out what was going on in The Double Bind.  But both activities were entertaining.

I don't want to say too much about The Double Bind, for fear of spoiling it for anyone who hasn't read it.  I can't say that I was surprised by the ending, because it was a little bit predictable, but I enjoyed getting there, every step (or pedal turn) of the way.

I need to check out some more Chris Bohjalian.  Suggestions?

What I'm Reading Now -- The Art of the Handwritten Note

In a real change of pace from my recent reading, I just picked up a book I bought a long time ago but never read: The Art of the Handwritten Note.

I have regular or semi-regular postal correspondence with a number of people, but it can't hurt to be better at it, right?

Goals 2019 -- October Edition

It's October!  That means a lot of things for me.  It means fall is coming (if not yet here -- which, much to S's chagrin, it's not).  Along with fall come so many things I love: sweatshirts and hot chocolate and bug-free outdoors and biking without melting.

October also means we're in the last weeks free of the annual 6-week holiday frenzy, because I don't count Halloween.  Although perhaps I should, since something that pretty much everyone struggles with through the holidays is food consumption.  We're always having or going to parties, where beautiful tables full of very unhealthy food are laid out and calling to all of us.

So, in honor of the pre-holiday, relatively party-free time, we're throwing it back to April and focusing on food in one way or another.

I am going to:
1. Clean out the fridge.
2. Clean out the pantry.
3. Not eat past 8:30 p.m.

K was on a really strong clean eating run earlier this year, but then they got attacked by a hurricane or two, and all those rules went right out the window while they chowed down on whatever food remained available at the grocery store by the time they did their shopping run.  So, prior to the holiday glutton-fest, K is going to get back on the clean bandwagon.

Wish us luck, and maybe keep your distance if either of us look particularly hangry!

Goals 2019 -- September Recap

K and I both struggled this month.  I don't really have a good reason for why I did, except a lack of attention.  K has a better excuse, which will follow.  Here's my status:

1. Drink more water.  This one I had some success with, actually (I think).  I say "I think" because, while certainly on some days I drank more than I had been previously, and often I made that additional 25% mark that I set for myself.  However, I was also less diligent about tracking it when I was not at work.  Weekends and the week we were on vacation escaped the tracking, so I can't say for sure that I was successful on those days.

2. Get up when the alarm goes off.  This one was a much bigger struggle for me.  There were a handful of days when I succeeded, but overall it was not a success.  I did not, though, try any of my previous tricks, such as downloading a different clock app or using an old-fashioned alarm clock.  I'm not quite ready to give up on this one yet; I may keep it alive next month with some different tactics.

3. Keep on a regular schedule.  I have to admit that I didn't think particularly actively about this goal as the month progressed.  Perhaps surprisingly, I think I did pretty well at it anyway.  Looking back at my calendar and recalling my weekends, I did a decent job of getting up early on the weekends to try to keep myself on a regular schedule.  What I was intermittently successful (or massively unsuccessful) at was getting to bed at a reasonable hour.  That's still a struggle.

Better luck next month!

What I Read -- Killers of the Flower Moon

I heard an interview with David Grann on NPR near the time that Killers of the Flower Moon was released, and wanted to read it immediately.  As so often happens, though, time got away from me.

Then E read it and suggested it as a possibility for our postal book club.  There was a catch: we have, historically, enforced a 250-page limit for postal book club books.  This rule was initially put in place to keep the pressure of the whole project low; no one would be getting a 1200-page doorstop that they needed to plow through.  We had previously considered making some exceptions for longer-than-250-page books if they were something that all three of us have on our to-read list, and Killers of the Flower Moon fit the bill.

I took it with me when S and I went to the Pacific Northwest for vacation.  It was both a great and terrible pick for that trip -- great, because it's fun to read a book on vacation that you just can't put down; terrible, because I got through it so quickly!

As the subtitle indicates, this is a look at a tiny piece of history which had far-reaching implications.  When the Osage Indians were being displaced from their land, they were resettled on property in Oklahoma that was rich with oil reserves.  Then, in the 1920s, Osage Indians with "head rights" (an ownership interest in the oil) started mysteriously dying.  Things came to a head when the then-newly-installed FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover brought in a former Texas Ranger to investigate.

This book was fast-paced, readable, and fascinating.  It is everything I think of when people refer to "narrative non-fiction," which has always struck me as an odd description.  It's not a genre, exactly, but it does convey a certain propulsive plot, which this book has in spades.

My only complaint comes at the end, when the author delves into his personal efforts to locate additional victims; it seemed unnecessary and a little bit self-congratulatory in a way that I did not particularly appreciate.

What I'm Reading Now -- The Double Bind

I have heard good things about Chris Bohjalian for years.  For some reason, I never read any of his stuff.

I have read a lot of non-fiction lately, so in an effort to change things up and to right this wring about Mr. Bohjalian, I grabbed The Double Bind off my bookshelf.

I'm only a few dozen pages in, but so far it is proving to be a great pick!

Happy Birthday, S!

One year and three days ago, this happened:

He said that if I married him, that was the last birthday present I would ever have to give him.  The marrying was the best decision ever -- done and done!

What I Read -- H is for Hawk

I had heard so many wonderful things about H is for Hawk when it came out.  It was one of those books that made its way onto my list, but that I never got to.   Then one day, my friend C mentioned an interest in falconry, so I suggested this book to him.

He picked up a copy of it, but didn't make it too far before he decided he wasn't a fan; he passed it on to me to see if I liked it better.

It turns out that I did.  Which is not to say that I was a huge fan right away.  The author has an unusual cadence to her writing; it took me a third of the book to adjust to it, but once I did, I was on board.

My favorite parts of the book were her descriptions of the English countryside; it took me right back to being in Britain in the early spring -- cold, damp, miserable, but also beautiful.  In a damp way.  I also very much enjoyed learning a little bit about falconry, which is something I have exactly zero experience with.

What I found unexpected was the near-total lack of reference to the death of the author's father.  At the time of the book's release, all I heard about it was how deep it was as a recovery book -- her father died, she got a goshawk, and (poof!) problems were solved.  That was simply not the case.  Sure, her father's death starts and ends the book (with the assistance of medication), but most of it doesn't address that at all.

Even aside from that, though, I very much enjoyed the falconry and the Englishness of the whole endeavor!

What I Watched -- Mindhunter

S and I often don't have the patience to binge the same things.  We did, however, manage to plow through the first two seasons of Mindhunter on Netflix.

It's the based-on-a-true-story fictionalized tale of the beginning of the FBI's behavioral science division.  The agents used psychological research and profiling to study and understand what drove the 1970s serial killers, in an attempt to get a leg up on the next round of murderers.

It's a bit gruesome, but also fascinating.  And well acted, by a ensemble cast.

What I Watched -- Space Cowboys

Space Cowboys was one that was on both S's and my lists. It's not a new movie, and just knowing the cast makes it pretty predictable. 

That does not, however, mean that it wasn't quite amusing.  We both got a few good chuckles out of it.

The basic plot is that there's some stuff floating around in space that needs to be repaired.  The only person who has the  know-how is the guy who designed it, who now is a crotchety old man.  He agrees to go back to space to fix it, but only if he can take his whole team from back in the day with him.  Shenanigans ensue.

Bottom line: not deep, but enjoyable.

Goals 2019 -- September Edition

This month's goal is in three parts.  They are only loosely related.  Here's what we've got:

1. Drink more water.
     I have an app on my phone that reminds me to drink water.  I'm going to increase my daily goal by 25% over what it was previously.  And, just to be clear, I'm going to include all liquid intake.  Coffee or tea isn't water, but it's made from water, so that's good enough for me.

2. Get up when the alarm goes off.
     I've done this one before.  I used to obsessively hit the snooze button for 15 or 20 minutes.  I broke that habit last go-around.  I've been very tired lately and dying for a snooze button, but I have a different phone, and the shortest "snooze" option in the clock app is 10 minutes.  That's unacceptable.  But you know what else is unacceptable?  Just turning off the alarm and lying back down in bed!  That's what I've started doing lately.  So...no more of that.  Alarm = get out of bed.

3. Keep on a regular schedule.
     This is something inspired by K (whose goal is more ambitious than mine) and last month's journaling adventure.  I realized that, especially since I have not been getting up to ride my bike much lately, I have a totally different schedule on the weekends than I do on the weekdays.  And what's more, my weekend schedules are completely inconsistent even with each other!  Some days I'm up at 7:00, other days I sleep until 10:00.  (Which is a new development in the last year or two; not sure what's going on there, but apparently I'm reverting to teenage sleeping habits.)
     I want to make sure I still get enough sleep, but that means I just have to make sure to go to bed at a reasonable hour in order to keep some consistency for myself.  I'm not going to have as severe of a goal as K, whom I believe is going to try to keep her weekend wake-up time the same as her weekday; that's not going to work for me.  But I will try to keep them closer together, and at least keep the weekends consistent with each other.

Here's to us, improving!

Goals 2019 -- August Recap

This month, K and I were trying to get things done through journaling.

Did it work?  Did we get things done?  Here's what I learned about myself:

1. I have very little control over my own time during the work day (and right now the work day is extending to encompass longer and longer hours).  I might have all the good intentions about what I hope to accomplish, but when it comes right down to it, it's not really up to me.  I'm putting out fires, and that's about it.

It seems that this book might be better suited for someone who is either not employed, is self-employed, or otherwise just has more free time which requires planning.

[Aside: I just listened to an episode of Hidden Brain called You 2.0: Tunnel Vision, all about scarcity and the changes that go on in our brains when we are faced with a shortage of something.  The obvious scarce item is money, which is how the show opens, but there is also a segment on time scarcity, which I am totally feeling right now!]

2. Despite not being able to control my own time, I am more interested in journaling if I get to use a collection of fun-colored pens to do it!

3. I realized how much different my weekday schedule is from my weekend schedule (more on this next month).  I could really only commit to journaling in the morning if I kept the journal in the car, so it was there for me to work on in the morning on the way to work.  But that meant that I almost never journaled on the weekend, because getting up and going to the car wasn't one of the first things I did in the morning.  On weekends, by the time I remembered about the journal, it was either too late in the day for it to be meaningful or I was elbows-deep in a project that I didn't want to interrupt.  Accordingly, most weekend days were journal-free.  That is perhaps a bit counter-productive when referring back to #1, since weekends are when I have the most available time!

4. Each day, I looked back at the previous day's goals to see how I did.  Overall, I have about 1/3 more green check marks than red ones.  Seems like something good.  But what I noticed was that I started setting very small goals that I knew I could accomplish, because I wanted to get that green check mark!  But, as K pointed out, isn't that kind of the point?  The whole goal is to make you feel productive, and if that happens by breaking tasks down into smaller and smaller sections so that you can make some progress, it's a winner!

I like that interpretation.  It might be as much justification as interpretation, but I'm going with it!

Apologies

Sorry everyone.  Work is kicking my butt right now.  Hope to be back to posting soon.

What I Watched -- I Am Sam

We picked up I Am Sam at the library.  I have wanted to see it for years, but just never got around to it.  S had seen it, and warned me about how sad it was.  I knew he was right, but I'm not really sure I was prepared, even after the warnings.

It's the story of a developmentally disabled father and his young daughter, separated by the juvenile court system.  The court makes an initial determines that Sam, played by Sean Penn, is incapable of adequately caring for his daughter, played by a young Dakota Fanning, due to his Autistic tendencies.  A high-powered lawyer, played by Michelle Pfeiffer, takes his case on a pro bono basis, out of shame if nothing else.

Since I spend some time in my professional work in juvenile court, I found it at once fascinating and horrifying to look at a case from the outside.  I supposed I am just too involved when I am in the middle of a case to look at it in a completely detached manner, which I was able to do while watching this film.

Bottom line: S was right -- it's worth seeing.

What I Read -- Am I There Yet?

I've started and finished my next postal book club book: Am I There Yet? The Loop-de-Loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood.  It is part graphic novel, part memoir, and part advice book.

I think this may have been more meaningful to me a handful of years ago, but nevertheless it was enjoyable, if a bit inconsistent.  Parts were touching and poignant -- especially when she actually talked about her father's death (rather than mentioning it in passing, which got old) or had a real revelation.  Other parts were a bit simplistic and seemed unnecessary to the stories.

Let me return for a minute to my earlier description of this book as "part graphic novel."  It's really, now that I think about it, more "part adult picture book."  I think of a graphic novel as a book that tells the story through images, an elaborate comic strip.  In Am I There Yet?, the pictures are illustrations.  They do add something to the story -- my favorite ones were the double-page-spread summaries of the author's favorite things about various places that she had been or times in her life -- but if you were to remove the illustrations, everything would still make perfect sense.

Come to think of it, maybe she has a future in travel writing.

One final thought: there is something nice about a quick read. When you've been struggling to finish a few books lately, a quick read can sometimes be just the re-energizing jolt you need to get motivated to read again.

Goals 2019 -- July Update

Here's K!

M and I talked throughout the month about how surprisingly difficult it was to fit a little thing like walking into our daily routine. It seemed like a relatively simple task when we chose it, but it ended up being quite a challenge!

Overall, I would say that I was successful with this month’s goal. When I was in Europe, we walked miles every day. On the cruise ship, I gave myself credit for the walk from the restaurant to our evening activity and then to bed given that those little walks were more than the walk that I would have made at home from my kitchen counter to the couch. Then, when I came home, mom left to join E and A in awaiting the arrival of little L, so I was back on morning dog walk duty. There were many mornings where Argos did not want to take a walk, but whereas before I would have accepted his hesitation as an invitation for my own couch sitting, I made him go out whether he wanted to or not. And, like me, most of the time, once we got out there, he was happy about it. 

Even though this is a hard goal, I’m going to try to keep it as a part of my daily activities by putting my lunch in the refrigerator in the building next to mine. This will make me, I hope, get up in the middle of the day, step away from the computer and the demands of work, and squeeze in a little walk even though it might like the hardest thing in the world to do is to put one foot in front of the other.

Goals 2019 -- August Edition

For July, our goal is to get sh*t done.  We will do this, hopefully, with the help of Mel Robbins's 5-Second Journal.

K ordered this for me and it arrived the other day.  I have to say, I'm not sure it'll happen in 5 seconds each day, but I'm hoping to use my morning commute on the weekdays.  Weekends will be a little bit tougher; maybe it will be my coffee activity, instead of scrolling through Insta.

So, what exactly am I planning to accomplish?  I haven't decided yet.  I think the idea (though I haven't read the journal intro yet) is that it's whatever is most pressing at the time.

I'm not sure it's in the journal, but I probably will also spend the next morning recapping whether I accomplished the prior day's tasks or not.

Goals 2019 -- July Recap

This month, we were supposed to walk.

I thought this would be an easy one for me, because I love walking.  I was disappointed when I didn't do very well at this.  I do have some excuses, but really I'm just justifying my failures.  First, I didn't make this part of my schedule.  Since, I didn't, I noticed in retrospect that on a lot of days, I just forgot about it.  When I did remember, it was lovely to take an afternoon stroll to break up the work day and feel a bit rejuvenated.

Second, it finally got to be summer in St. Louis!  Those days of the 110* heat index just are not very inviting for walking outside.  Especially when I was in my work clothes.  Nothing feels rejuvenating when it's that hot outside!

In the end, I walked on 16 days, which is far short of the goal of 25 days of walking that we had set out.  But I did enjoy it, and I hope that it's something I can build into my schedule a bit more going forward!

What I Watched -- Inherit the Wind

One of my law partners has been extolling the virtues of Inherit the Wind for as long as I have been working with him.  I finally got around to watching it.

Some parts of the film are overwhelmed by that classic movie camp, the corny comedy that makes old movies feel, well, old.  Out of date.

On the other hand, the subject matter is spot on.  And it astonished me how directly the subjects of the Bible and Darwinism were addressed so many years ago.

And, at the risk of spoiling the end of this film, it all works out, but perhaps not as the viewer might have hoped.  And it's a courtroom drama, so who doesn't love that?

Bottom line: one of the classics that is absolutely worth watching.

What I Watched -- A Star is Born

I was not that interested in seeing A Star is Born when it came out.  It seemed interesting enough, but movies in theaters are just not something that I make a lot of time for these days, so eventually my interest faded.

Then the movie soundtrack (really just "Shallow") hit the radio waves, which piqued my interest again.  But -- same story.  Just not enough time, and my interest faded again.

Recently, S and I were at the library perusing the DVD section, and there it was!  It was never going to be easier than this, so why not?

And I am so glad I picked it up!

I am hesitant to say too much about the film, other than the basic plot.  He's a famous star on the back end of his career; she's an up-and-comer just breaking into the industry.  They fall in love.  It's just two people who meet, over a shared interest, whose lives are on two separate trajectories.  The rest is the movie, and you should watch it without me spoiling it for you.

Also, though, the music!  I had listened to the entire soundtrack but wasn't terribly moved by it.  But then I saw the movie, and it gave so much more context to the songs that I want to go back and listen to them again.  It's certainly a codependent relationship -- without the music, the movie would have been just a boring story; without the movie, the music lacks depth.

Bottom line: I liked this way more than I expected to.  I hope you do, too.

American Son -- Take 2

I have mixed feelings about American Son.

I'll start with the good.  First, true or not (and who, now, can say?), it does paint a picture of Jr. as someone who deeply appreciated the role his family played in the country's modern psyche, and who wanted to do something good with that.  What, exactly?  Again, who can say?  But something.  Second, it appears that John was a kind, thoughtful, and introspective person.  He was not perfect -- apparently he had one heck of a bad temper -- but he did not allow his celebrity to turn him into something horrible.  He was just a man, trying to be a better one.

Now for the bad.  First, this book is a snapshot.  It covers the author's time working with John Kennedy, Jr., at George magazine - John's late-1990s attempt to publish a political magazine for the average reader.  Our author started working there in 1995; John died in 1999.  Surely, it tries to extrapolate out from that time period, but does so with limited success, as John was notoriously tight-lipped about his private life.  Second, as the author himself acknowledges in his note at the end, this book can easily be viewed as opportunistic.  And that is how I viewed it, along with many other people.  It seemed more like the author's opportunity to promote himself, because this is as famous as he would ever be: the executive editor of John-John's magazine.  (This article from the Weekly Standard also points out that Blow [now Bradley] had signed a confidentiality agreement when he started at George.  So much for that.)

It's telling that the good things about the book were the subject himself, and the bad things about the book were the scope and motivations of the author.  Do with that information what you will.

The Coronation of Poppea

The last of the operas was The Coronation of Poppea, and as with Figaro, it poured down rain shortly beforehand.  Since it was a weekday and S and I were already at my office, we decided just to eat here rather than risk another rain storm.  Luckily dinner was all prepared and packed up in a cooler ready to be enjoyed!

Our dinner was a charcuterie, cheese, and fruit plate, with some bread and oil, ancient Rome style.  And also wine, also ancient Rome style.  That really is a great way to eat.

The show was quite racy!  Overall, it was not the greatest ensemble of voices, but there were a few real standouts (specifically, the character of Seneca).

The staging reminded me of some of the "Shakespeare in the Park" plays from the early 201xs -- a bit of an odd mashup between historical settings.  For this particular show, it was a mix of 1950s attire and Renaissance-style music.  For some reason, it worked.

It was a light-hearted show, with some not-very-likable characters, but a very likable date night with S!

Fire Shut Up in My Bones

Opera number three was Fire Shut Up in My Bones with K.  But first, the food!

Since the opera -- which is based on the autobiography of New York Times columnist Charles Blow -- is set in a small Louisiana town, we had some southern classics for dinner.  Our extremely fancy entree was cheddar and pimiento grilled cheese sandwiches, accompanied by chicken salad and potato salad.  There were also deviled eggs, although I forgot about them in the fridge until the following day.  Our drink was a 1930's New Orleans invention called the Cocktail a la Louisiane.  It required some work from S to perfect the recipe, because all I found was an ingredient list, without measures.  However, he undertook the task like a champ (albeit kind of a drunk one by the end of it).

We ate at home so S could participate, then headed down to the show.

Speaking of the show, I enjoyed it more than I anticipated I would.  First and most importantly, it was a collection of strong voices, singling well together.  Much to my surprise, though I do not generally consider myself to be a fan of jazz, I enjoyed the scoring, which was heavily jazz influenced.

The semi-permanent staging was simple but effective, made more so by the contrast between scenes of Charles's chaotic home life, which involved lots of furniture and other set pieces brought out for a few minutes, and scenes focusing on Charles's loneliness, which were spare and, well, lonely.  Speaking of that, there were a trio of characters played by one actress -- destiny, loneliness, and Charles's girlfriend Greta -- which was an inspired casting choice. 

For Charles himself, he was portrayed as a child and as an adult. There was a time warp happening in front of our eyes, with adult Charles shadowing young Charles through various significant moments in his life -- sometimes singing in duo, sometimes just observing, watching the beginning of the derailment of his childhood.

Some critics complained that the performances were melodramatic and that certain scenes were overly-long, but I did not find that.  Contrary to some of the classic operas, in my opinion this one told a much longer and more detailed story in the same time frame, giving it the feeling that it was moving along quite swiftly.  To my surprise and delight, I overheard an elderly audience member exclaim, "That was very good!"

Goals 2019 -- June Update

Here's K!

I’ll admit, when M proposed that we should try five new things in the month of June, I was nervous. First, I wasn’t sure that I would have time because I was finishing up the academic year. Second, anyone who knows me knows that I’m not really a “new thing” kind of person. I’m more of a “tried and true” kind of gal. But, I quickly realized that our monthly goals are designed to get us out of our comfort zones, so I accepted the challenge, albeit hesitantly.

Like M, I only made it to four-and-a-half, but I was pretty proud of myself for that! My new things were:

1.     Tried an Aperol Spritz. I know, I know. This one hardly counts. I mean how hard is it to step outside of your comfort zone with a new cocktail? But I’m counting this one because there’s a story or two behind it. It’s apparently the “new” summer cocktail, though the Italians have been drinking them for quite some time. My friend K, who is Italian, loves them, and I’ve heard her talk about them for two years now, but never tried one. Then, I read an article in my Sunday New York Times that claimed that an Aperol Spritz “is not a good drink.” Well, apparently, there are a lot of people who feel very strongly about this. The internet was “deeply offend[ed],” according to the New York Post. Even the Washington Post took notice and they issued a follow-up article in which they claimed that the Times article sent “shock waves through social media.” So, at this point, I had to know what this was all about. I had to leave my whiskey comfort zone and venture into the fray. And, I have to say, I’m not particularly impressed. Like that time I read Twilight or the time I started Fifty Shades, I can happily say that I am glad that I know what the hubbub is about, but I’m equally as glad to return to my whiskey.

2.     Joined a bunco group. This one found me. My friend J decided to get a bunch of her friends from different circles together to create a bunco group so that we could see each other regularly. Most of the women in the group have children, so this was a way for them to set aside some regularly scheduled time when they could roll some dice, maybe win some money, and have a glass of wine with grown-ups. I support of all of these things, so I said yes even though I had no idea what bunco actually was. And then I proceeded to worry about what I had just gotten myself into. Typical. Once I finally went, though, I had a great time. Until I realized that I think being part of a bunco group makes me officially old.

3.     Adulted. Hard. (Ish). On a recent work trip, I had the pleasure of staying in the dorms at a college in Philadelphia that I will not name here, but if you want to know, I’ll probably tell you. On our first night, the room was cold and damp. On the second night, it was a little warmer, but still damp. Also on the second night, my roommate and I (incidentally, K of Aperol Spritz fame) were feeling pretty good after a dinner of whiskey and beer, so we decided to turn the air off and open the windows to get some fresh air to mix in with our stale, moist air. But, when I put my foot out of the bed the next morning, I stepped onto a soaking. wet. floor. Whatever work that air conditioner was doing to keep the moisture under control when it was on, it did not do when it was off and all that air moisture became a floor lake. When we got back to our dorm that night, the water was still there, as were the footprints from our morning trek through our lake. I laid down on the bed for a five minute breather, and when I stood up, the front of me was dry and the back of me was wet. Within 15 minutes we were in an Uber on the way to a hotel where we took ourselves out to a nice dinner like the grown-ass women we are, slept in dry beds, and returned back to campus in the morning. I broke the rules that existed in my mind, put my comfort ahead of anything else, and for me, that’s a sign that I’m all grown up.

4.     Changed the oil in a silver truck named Red. This one is all thanks to M and S. And, I basically stole this one off M’s list, but in all fairness, it is something I have wanted to learn to do for a long time. So, poor S had to walk me through the steps, every one of which I bungled, but he was clear and patient and gracious despite my errors. S, have you ever thought of being a teacher? I think you have all the qualifications for it. I feel quite accomplished as a consequence of completing this task, but somewhere in the middle of it all, I had the thought, “yeah. I’m just as happy to pay an expert to do this for me next time.”

5.     Thought about my trip to Europe. This one is my half. But really it should probably be my one-quarter because we planned this trip long ago and we’re not going on this trip until July. But, because I fell short in my five things, I’m going with it. As far as travel to Europe is concerned, I’ve been to London and Ireland. And that’s it. But that will all change in the next fifteen days as I travel with J, my mom, his mom, and our neighbors to seven different cities in the Western Mediterranean, from Spain all the way down into Italy. It will be my first time on one of the really big cruise ships. It will be my first time in all of these cities. It will be my first time trying to navigate through places without the benefit of a guide who knows what they’re doing. I will need to use all of the bravery and adulting skills that I have learned in June to survive in July. And, I’m sure that somewhere along the way, I’ll have another Aperol Spritz. And a whiskey.

Happy 4th of July!

Goals 2019 -- May Update

Here's K!

Well, here’s my May update, finally! I find it a little ironic that in the month, long, long ago, where we were supposed to clean out our inboxes, I was remiss in completing my electronic duty of submitting my update! The digital activity that was intended, at least in my mind, to help me be more efficient and responsive to the necessary information that was coming in obviously did not translate, in this instance, in the way that I had hoped.

When M and I talked about doing a “digital cleanup,” my goals were mainly to clean out my email inboxes and to unsubscribe from the million and one junk mails (is that a word?) that I received every day. They came in because I once said I was interested or I once purchased something, but I never looked at them. Instead, I just gave myself carpel tunnel as I swiped left to delete them. I was able to accomplish these two tasks within the first few days of our endeavor, which made me feel quite accomplished. I cleaned out every inbox that I have, forwarded one account that I don’t want to keep checking to another so that I would be sure not to miss anything, decided to begin using that one account over the other (don’t ask why that took so long…), and gleefully unsubscribed to much of the junk mail that I receive. This is a process that needs a repeat as culling the accounts that you want to receive things from and the ones that you don’t sometimes takes a few passes.

As far as the results of this effort are concerned, I am still burdened by more email than I care to receive, but I think that’s the curse of the modern era. On the occasions where I had the opportunity to open my email in front of other people (mostly at work), I did receive several compliments on the tidiness of my email inbox. And, when we were in the process of interviewing new faculty, one candidate opened his email on the projector to find his presentation, and his email alerted him to the nearly 3200 unread emails in his account. In this moment, I experienced anxiety for him and wanted to help him sort through his email to whittle that number to a more reasonable double-digit one. Before this, I would have identified with him because there is always a point, as the junk comes in, where I used to give into the deluge and allow myself to drown in email. But, this small act of digital cleanup has been one that's made a big difference for me.

Going forward, I hope to keep my work inbox cleared out so that it can do double duty as a “to do” list and as a way to ensure that I try to focus on responding to the emails that I can right as they come in. I also plan to find myself on a couch with some bad television on in the background unsubscribing from more email lists in the not-too-distant future as this digital effort really was one that made me feel a little more in control of my life.

Goals 2019 -- July Edition (Update)

Here's K!

I’m on board with this goal for many reasons. First, the last time my dog visited his vet, he was embarrassed to find out that he had gained five pounds! He asked if we could go on more walks to get back down to his fighting weight, so now I can oblige. Second, I’ll be heading out on this aforementioned cruise, and lest I be embarrassed to find out how many pounds I have gained upon my return, I will use this to try to keep myself at my own fighting weight, and also to keep myself awake. Third, fresh air. Fourth, podcasts. Fifth, summer. Sixth, the television I shouldn’t be watching. Seventh, the book I should be reading. Eighth, why not?  And, I’m sure I’ll find the ninth and tenth reasons in the actual undertaking of this endeavor.

Goals 2019 -- July Edition

Walking.  It seems like such a simple thing.  We do it all the time.  We walk around the house; we walk from the car to the store and back; we walk to the mailbox.

But we will walk deliberately this month.  After lunch or after dinner, or even some other time if that's the only time we can fit it in.  A dog may be involved.  Or not.  But it will be a thoughtful, purposeful walk, with the purpose being the walk itself, and not as a means to something else.

Just by coincidence, this story was on NPR this morning!  Hopefully we can keep this in mind all month. As with yoga back in January, we're shooting for 25 days of walking.

Goals 2019 -- June Recap

Five new things doesn't seem like a lot. But when you need to fit them in between all the obligations of daily living, it can be hard!  Which is my not-so-subtle way of telling you that I didn't quite get it done.  But it wasn't a total failure either!  Here's my list:
1. I tried a case in Lincoln County (to excellent effect!)
2. I got recognized as a volunteer with one of the organizations I've been working with at their quarterly gathering
3. I changed the oil in our daily driver
4. I walked in a Pride parade
5. We decided to take scuba lessons with some friends (although the lessons themselves haven't happened yet).

The last one, obviously, is questionable.  How many well-intentioned plans never come to fruition?  But what can you do?  There's only so much time in 30 days.   43,200 minutes, to be not-quite-exact.  Which seems like a lot when I say it that way; let's go back to calling it 30 days.

I had lots of other ideas, but as with the scuba, they just didn't happen.  My rowing partner wanted to learn to ride a unicycle, but I don't know where you can rent one.  I wanted to go mountain biking on a trail I has never been on before, but that requires that it stop raining.  There was a new circus in town (in addition to St. Louis's own Circus Flora) but they were only here for a weekend and I had visitors that weekend.

Even though I only got four-and-a-half things accomplished, it was a good exercise in thinking outside the box!