Are Women Finished With Men?

A recent study of blacks in America turned up some interesting results.  According to an NPR story, only a third of single black Americans aged 18-49 were looking for a long-term relationship, which seems low to me.  But more surprisingly, almost twice as many men said they were looking for long-term relationships than women.

It's been known for some time that, in part due to the parental preference for boys which puts young women in high demand, that Asian women are marrying less often, and when they do marry they do so later in life than their parents did.  This is true for Asians both in Asia and in the U.S.

There are conflicting stories about whether educated black women are more or less likely to marry than their less-educated counterparts, but it seems that the only group of women who is consistently reported as marrying well and often is educated white women.

Are women finished with men?  Or maybe just with marriage?

Let's take a quick minute to look at the traditional reasons a woman needed these things, and whether the three-way link between the desire, the man, and the marriage still exists:

1. Kids - nope

From my own legal experience, I can say that paternity suits are on the rise in the court system.  More and more women are having kids outside of marriage.  Most paternity suits involve a real live person who was there at the vital moment, but my bioethics class in law school was chock full of cases dealing with sperm donors, egg donors, surrogate parents acting as incubators, etc.  It's a brave new childbearing world, and pretty much every traditional stricture is gone for us gals.

2. Sex - nope

Unless we're all immaculately conceiving, it's pretty clear we don't need marriage in order to have sex anymore.  And if you're Charlotte, you don't even need a man.

3. Steady paycheck - nope

With the recent 50th anniversary of President Kennedy's signing of the Equal Pay Act, there is some consternation about the fact that, in every age group except recent college graduates (aka "too young for kids"), we still earn less than men for the same work.  There is also the common counterargument that women earn less than men later in their careers because they've taken time off for the kids and family, and thus are less dedicated and/or have less experience than their male counterparts.  Who's right?  Who knows.  I'm not going to rehash the entire debate here, but only will say this: regardless of the fact that women make less than men - for whatever reason - we can still make enough to support our wonderful selves!  So there.

4. Nice place to live - nope

One of the perks of a decent and steady paycheck: we can afford our own great places to live! No more living with the parents until marriage, then moving in with your husband.  We can move out, live on our own, pay our own bills, and generally take care of business without a second paycheck.

Which brings me back to my original question: where does this leave women in relation to men? Marriage?  What gives?